My Soul to Keep

Okay, okay, okay--I keep writing about Trans versity without giving any examples but really it has been so personal. However, I have decided wtf and here is the fourth in the series. It sums up all the rest really but maybe someday I will share the others.

My Soul to Keep

What happens when we journey deep into the depths of our misshapen soul?

Is it a place we shouldn’t really go?

Mine is full of tarry pits, dark corridors that turn and twist

Quicksand and slippery slopes

Phantoms ,demons and poisonous toads.

Most people think souls are white and clean

But mine is full of holes and cobwebs that cling

There are piles of bile and hateful gnats

That sting and bite like rabid bats.

It is really a scary place to be…

How did it get this way? It wasn’t me

It wasn’t me who called me names

Who swathed me in ugly shame

It wasn’t me who slapped my face

Or made fun of me for saying grace

I wasn’t the sadist that betrayed my love

Or tormented my trust like they were salting a slug.

No, it wasn’t me that made the mess

It isn’t me that needs to confess.

It wasn’t me that caused the tarnish

But it’s up to me to clean and varnish

But to refute the evil is a quirky trick

As if I were the witch that has to be pricked

There is no evil in me, that’s part of the charade

I m the earth, not the road they paved

My soul is really pure and whole

The scene above is a tale of trolls

God forgives me for sins I did not do

But this forgiveness means everything so I believe its true

It’s been a valiant expedition into my soul

Not a place for the timid to go

And I can’t say its suddenly shiny and bright

But at least I know now how to better focus the light

I wouldn’t be me without the life I’ve had

And truthfully, good has outweighed the bad

But when one goes deep inside

Where all the fears slither and hide

then ghastly scenes are what you find

that you then excavate and mine

to make room for the love that you might otherwise miss

if not for renovating the secret abyss

And now I’m tired and just want to sleep

I pray to God my soul to keep.